A little less than a year ago I had the experience of merging with the universe. All sense of separation was removed. I felt my sense of being-ness expand to include everything there is. In this state I kept looking for my boundaries. To feel where I ended and the world began and that boundary simply was not there. I stayed in that state for quite a while and when I came back out of it I felt as if I had touched God. Touched pure love. It happened during deep meditation at a Sat Nam Rasayan retreat here in Reykjavik where I live.
This last year has been an integration period for me. It is a very different understanding of the world to truly know that we are truly all one and the world of separation that we have been conditioned to see since we were infants. It is completely different to know this experientially to knowing it intellectually.
I suspect that the reality of infants is something similar to what I experienced. It takes a long while for babies to learn that they are separate from their caregivers. I suspect that it also takes a while for them to understand that they are indeed separate from anything else.
Over the last year I have slowly felt the softening of the grip of my ego.
I could not stay in that state of oneness for long, nor did I want to. It would be very hard to take care of basics like eating or sleeping if I were blissing away in a state of union, let alone be a parent. However it became harder and harder to identify with the drama of daily life. All the things that used to bother me and I would get upset about are affecting me less and less. I wish I could say that I became a pure enlightened being at that instant, but unfortunately, no that did not happen. But I became more awake than I have ever been. It feels as some of the darkness of the glass I look out on reality has been wiped away.
“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. ” 1 Corinthians 13:12
More and more I am experiencing this unity in daily life. My vision is clearer so to speak. I am still unfolding this new reality and unraveling my understanding of what happened and what life is. All I know is that this sense of unity is more and more present. Now it is only as far away as a deep breath and it is there. I am one with the universe again.
So much can happen in a year and so much love is available to us. The key is to keep looking, keep knocking on the door and to keep asking for guidance. I for one will keep doing that for as long as I live.